Let me just say one thing first before I start – It’s hard, it’s exhausting, and sometimes scary.
Living with an alcoholic really takes the energy out of someone. Let me start by saying that, not all alcoholics are the type of alcoholics who are violent, narcissistic, soul-draining, self-esteem draining… just everything draining. We have some alcoholics who drink and just stay quiet, some who drink and can’t stop talking, some who just drink by themselves, some who drink and turn violent, some who drink and turns into a narcissist, and the list continues on. Some people even drink and they still are themselves. I live with an alcoholic who is a narcissist, debbie-downer, and aggressive alcoholic. I am sharing how it went on in my life. I am in no way saying all alcoholics are bad. I am not writing this post for anyone to pity me or feel bad for me. I am not seeking for attention. I am simply sharing how I felt and what I have to go through. If you are someone who lives with an alcoholic, just know you are not alone.
It’s annoying, painful, and sickening. The things an alcoholic says can tremendously impact someones self-esteem. Sometimes, there’s constant banging on the bed room door or maybe a few plates and chairs getting thrown across the house, constant yelling or complaining, negative comments, and etc but, let me just tell you one thing: you are not alone. I experienced first hand the things that an aggressive alcoholic says and does. I’m going to keep repeating this because I feel that it is necessary to say it… stay strong. (This is saying is what kept me sane and motivated to continue with life.)
I know how bad you want to just scream and scream until you can’t scream anymore because of the frustration, the stressfulness, the feeing of being upset, angry, and feeling like you can’t do anything. Growing up, when I shared my experience with other people, they have always told me to just ignore what the alcoholic says or to stand up for myself. It doesn’t work that way. We can’t just ignore what that person says and personally, I have tried standing up for myself but all my efforts and courage goes down the drain because the next night, the same nonsense happens. It might be different for other people because they might be too nervous or scared to stand up for themselves. It’s hard and I don’t think anyone else understand unless they have also experienced it first hand. Stay strong.
Through all of it, keep reminding yourself to stay strong and that things will get better. I understand all of the emotions that you are feeling.
There are many people who live with someone who is a raging alcoholic. Don’t feel like you are the only one. I understand. “We” understand.
Please, if you need someone to talk to- contact me. I am here for you. I will leave a contact form below in case anyone wants to contact me.